Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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