I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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