it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I touched a dick in church today
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
