You really coming over, don't trick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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