the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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