Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
