I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
