no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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