It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize