doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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