that's an acceptable place to lick
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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