omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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