Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
