Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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