I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
