The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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