I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
