I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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