Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
