Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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