i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize