he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
