I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
