I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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