hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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