There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
