That's intense
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
