i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
