Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
two words: eviction party
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
