dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
