and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
