Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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