you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
