Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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