billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All I want is dick and wine.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
