Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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