Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
