R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
