Quick, to the slutcave!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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