I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize