Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
