i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
