great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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