I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
