Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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