I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
