we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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