dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
