Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
