According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
