how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
