i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
