Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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