The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
