When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
