the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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