I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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