i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize