Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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