He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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