yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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