I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
