do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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