I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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