Non-Jews are for practice
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize