I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
