dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
