i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
