You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
