He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's rum buckets o'clock
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
