I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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